Cardz of the Week: Sweepers!

This Friday’s CotW is a bonus feature covering ALL the sweeper removal in Magic!  Well, most of it, anyway.  It’s a pretty broad category, and some cards can only be considered a sweeper if you stretch the definition somewhat.  The definition I intend to use for this article is that a sweeper is a card that removes (destroys, exiles, bounces, etc.) all permanents of a certain type, even if there is a condition attached, and that does so by not targetting them or dealing damage.  The condition is often based on converted mana cost (e.g. Pernicious Deed).  As such, Mutilate is a sweeper, but Violent Ultimatum is not.  The definition is pretty fuzzy, as Overwhelming Forces can either be a sweeper or not by these criteria, but you get the idea.  It’s mostly a “feel” thing.

I’m going to go in categories based on what card type the sweeper removes.  The goal is to give everybody an idea of all the options they have in certain colors to get rid of all kinds of permanents at the same time, which is obviously a great thing to do.  Using one card to get rid of a whole bunch is just Good Magic.  I’m also going to leave out Planeswalker ultimates, because, well, they never happen.

Monday’s column will be a strategy article on just how many of these type of cards to include, to tie in with this one.  With that said, here we go!

Multiple or All Permanent Types

This category is generally the cream of the crop when it comes to sweepers, as it gets rid of everything at the same time.  These are great if you’re behind as it levels the playing field to a significant degree.

Artifact

Oblivion StoneOblivion Stone — O-Stone is a format all-star and shows up in a lot of decks, and the reason why is pretty obvious.  It gets rid of everything, and the cost isn’t prohibitive.  In fact, splitting the 8-mana cost over two turns makes it quite affordable for the effect.  It can be put in any color deck and the price tag is usually sub-$5.  If you have enough time, you can even save some of your own choice permanents from destruction!  (Bonus tip: if someone else has been putting fate counters on their permanents with their own O-Stone, using a Rings of Brighthearth to copy the destruction trigger will get past that crap!)  The only down side is if you don’t have the 8 mana all at once, it has to sit around for a turn while those who are in the lead scramble for a way to kill it.  5/5

Nevinyrral’s Disk — This card functions in a very similar way to Oblivion Stone, though the mana cost is a little less steep (5 vs. 8 for a one-and-done).  Disk has a few downsides, however.  Unless you’re running Amulet of Vigor, Voltaic Key, or some other trick, you have to wait around for a turn before you wipe the board.  It also doesn’t hit Planeswalkers, and O-Stone does.  On the plus side, if you can find some way to make it indestructible (cough Darksteel Forge cough) or regenerate it, you can re-use it as many times as you want!  Not that I’ve ever done that…  4/5

Apocalypse Chime — Let me just say, thank god WotC finally admitted their error and printed an answer.  -2/5

Worldslayer — Goes into every Avacyn, Angel of Hope deck, and NO OTHER DECKS.  1/5

Multicolor

Pernicious DeedPernicious Deed — Ol’ Perny lies among the gold standard for sweepers.  While the color cost is quite restrictive in Commander, if Swamps and Forests are in your deck, you ought to be playing this card.  That you can pick what CMC to destroy up to allows you to lay a bomb and kill everything save it, and it makes it effective in the early game to affordably to wipe mana rocks and small dudes.  Deed for zero kills all creature tokens, which is often awesome.  Deed is both a really effective sweeper and occasionally an anything-but-symmetrical hoser for stuff-that-isn’t-yours.  The only downside, besides the color restriction, is it can be mana-intensive late game to get rid of stuff like Iona, Shield of Emeria.  Oh, and that it costs $20.  4.5/5

Plague Boiler — Slow card is slooooow.  It’s at least 4 turns or 12 mana to get this effect.  If the whole bubbling-up-destruction appeals to you, go for it, but really.  Come on.  1.5/5

Child of Alara — Child is mostly a great 5-color general, but probably goes in most other 5-color decks too.  Works best with effects that sacrifice the child as part of the cost, so it can’t be responded to.  That also gets bonus points for saying “sacrifice the child” when it happens.  3.5/5

Fracturing Gust — One of the best artifact / enchantment sweepers if you’re in the right colors.  I wouldn’t recommend playing this one in anything but 2-color Selesnya, though.  3 hybrid?  Really?  The effect is that good?  3.5/5

Pure // Simple — Fuck you, Voltron!  Nice wish board card (especially because Glittering Wish gets it), but, then you’d have to be a douche with a wish board.  It’s a give and take, really.  2.5/5

Void — This barely counts as a sweeper but tends to be a pretty good card.  Can be a brick, though.  3/5

Worldpurge — Not as good as Worldfire!  You won’t win friends playing this card, I’m thinking.  Actually this isn’t all that bad in my Sharuum deck with all the Moxen etc.  1.5/5

White

Akroma’s Vengeance — this card pretty much does what it says.  No more artifacts, creatures, or enchantments.  Six mana is pretty fair — it’s right around the typical mark — and it has the added bonus that it can be cycled away if it’s a dead card.  Pretty solid.  4.5/5

Austere CommandAustere Command — However, at 6 mana, sometimes the flexibility of white’s Lorwyn Command-cycle entry is extra gravy.  Only want to hit creatures?  It’s a wrath.  Want to hit big creatures and artifacts?  There you go.  You get the idea.  This card is simply fantastic and is one of the top-5 sweepers straight up because it can be tailored to any game situation to hamstring your opponents and leave you in a better position.  The only downside is when you want to hit everything, but most other sweepers don’t do that either.  5/5

Cataclysm — This one gets a bit of an asterisk because it leaves one of everything, but has an obvious advantage in leaving you waaaay ahead if the game state is otherwise right.  2.5/5

Dimensional Breach — This is a bit of an oddity, but if played right, can certainly lead to a win.  The downside is that you’ll be the last player to start returning permanents, so you better make it count.  I suggest starting with Blightsteel Colossus1.5/5

Soulscour — 10 mana is a LOT OF MANA.  There are better options in most cases unless you’re running some sort of Esper deck that only plays artifacts, then it’s probably ok.  1.5/5

Magus of the Disk — Like Nevinyrral’s Disk, except more white and more alive.  Not as easily abusable as the artifact version.  2.5/5

Planar Cleansing — Pretty well wipes the slate clean for 6 mana.  Nice effect in white with blink etc.  3/5

Purify — Pretty good in a mono-white creatures deck, except that those decks always run lots of Crusade-type effects.  So, not pretty good?  I dunno, it does a thing.  2.5/5

Scourglass — I’m sure this card is great in somebody’s deck somewhere, but I don’t know what that deck does, exactly.  It’s pretty bad everywhere else.  1/5

Serenity — I’m usually not a fan of things that don’t do what you need when you cast it.  It’s only 2 mana, though.  Good with Sun Titan?  Mostly bad?  Yeah, mostly bad.  1.5/5

Blue

Kederekt Leviathan — This guy is a really solid reset button in blue, especially as it leaves you up a 5/5 on the field.  It nails all permanent types and hits twice.  Great card.  4/5

Devastation Tide — This is a good alternative or addition to the Leviathan.  The sorcery speed is a drawback when compared to Evacuation, but it hits all permanent types.  This will save you from almost anything, and miracle is nice … though this is the sort of card that would rather sit in your hand until useful.  3.5/5

Hibernation — Green is the best color in Commander, but that still might not merit playing this card.  Maybe it does, though.  2.5/5

Reduce to Dreams — Sorcery speed takes this from playable to bad.  2/5

Wash Out — I haven’t seen this card before and it’s intriguing.  It’s probably never totally dead.  Some playtesting required.  2.5/5

Red

Jokulhaups — The original mass sweeper!  This card is great to float some mana on top of, wipe the board, and drop a threat.  The only downside, or upside, depending on your deck, is it leaves enchantments and planeswalkers around.  Build accordingly.  Plus the name is awesome.  3.5/5

ObliterateObliterate — The star in Jhoira of the Ghitu decks everywhere, Obliterate is simply going to happen (unless one of the obscure counterspell answers like Venser, Shaper Savant is around).  It hits everything and kills it dead.  The mana cost is much higher than Jokulhaups, making it more difficult to float and play on top of, but it can be done.  When you absolutely, positively MUST wipe the board, this is probably your go-to pick.  3.5/5

Worldfire — For a thorough review of how to use this baby, check out this article.  A very weird card that probably doesn’t go in almost any deck, unless you’re Billy Joel.  And then you just throw your hands up and blame it on the Earth’s rotation, or however that works.  1.5/5

Apocalypse — At 5 mana, this is the cheapest hit-everything sweeper out there, but you gotta dump your hand too, making it tough to play over top of.  I guess it’s okay with suspend or something?  You can still float mana and play your Commander though, which is unique to this format and is kinda cool.  Maybe there’s a deck out there that can exploit this.  (Also combos with Barren Glory if you can somehow make that happen.)  2/5

Decree of Annihilation — While a whopping 10 mana is tough to come by, this not only destroys everything but exiles it, including everybody’s hands.  Bye-bye world.  Another upside is the 7-mana Armageddon effect is generally pretty awesome in aggro decks.  This is another great Jhoira card, like she needed more.  3.5/5

Anarchy — Probably too specific to consider running.  Pretty sicksauce if you’re running Burning Wish and a hell of stupid wish board, though.  1.5/5

Devastation — For seven, hitting all creatures and lands is a good deal, provided you have something clever to follow it up with.  3/5

Omen of Fire — I’ve seen mono-R decks play this and it can be devastating.  It can also be a giant brick.  It’s hard to find this much card advantage in red though when you have the right kinds of opponents at the table.  2.5/5

Black

Aether Snap — Creature tokens and Planeswalkers bite the dust.  And it totally bends over Experiment Kraj decks, so that’s a bonus.  1.5/5

Creatures

Multicolor

Culling Sun — Truth be told, this card (and it’s brother Consume the Meek) is generally pretty bad.  The color cost is prohibitive, it only hits creatures, and generally creatures with CMC of 3 and down aren’t the problem.  1/5

Desolation Giant — CMC 6 might be on the high side for Day of Judgment and a 3/3, but maybe not.  If you’re in Boros, this guy is probably worth a shot.  2.5/5

Novablast Wurm — I’ve tried this guy and he’s no good.  You have to reliably give him haste, and then it’s still a very color-intensive, expensive wrath.  Blech.  2/5

Suleiman's Legacy
Not even the art can save this piece of shit.

Suleiman’s Legacy — Ok.  Best deck ever.  Check this.  Play Conspiracy, right?  Name Djinns (or Efreets — it’s like a modal deck, really).  Then you play Opalescence, right?  Ok.  Then you play a kicked Rite of Replication on your Conspiracy.  THEN, you Donate a copy, and THEN cast Radiate to Donate ALL the copies.  Then you play Suleiman’s Legacy.  Boom.  Wrath of God, but not for you!  10/5

Soulquake — CMC 7 is overcosted for this by one or two, but it hoses reanimation strategies.  In the right metagame it could be a nice inclusion.  2.5/5

Black

Damnation — If you’re playing black, you’re probably playing this card.  It, like, kills creatures, for real.  No regen for you, regenerating dudes.  It comes out earlier than anything on this list, so that’s handy.  Biggest, er, only downside is the $30 price tag.  4.5/5

Decree of Pain — This card is all kinds of good if you can make it to 8 mana.  The card drawing is a sick bonus.  The cycling effect won’t come up much, but it does inflict hurt on token armies.  3.5/5

Mutilate — This card only works in the right decks, and that is, decks that play Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth.  Which is all black decks.  And hey, look, this card is black too!  The bonus upside is that it gets rid of irritating indestructible creatures.  Situational, but obviously a house in mono-black.  3/5

Overwhelming Forces
$140 just doesn't get you what it used to.

Overwhelming Forces — If you’ve never heard of this card, that’s not particularly surprising.  While a foreign copy will “only” run you about $70, an English version is pushing $140.  Note that it has errata and only destroys all creatures target opponent controls.  Much like Decree of Pain, the card draw is a fantastic bonus, but it is certainly Not Good Enough if you’re getting it from more than one person at once (you slut).  Eight mana is no laughing matter, neither.  3/5

Dread Cacodemon — For just 10 mana, you get to destroy all your opponents’ dudes and you get an 8/8 out of the deal.  If your metagame is really slow, you could play this, but a vanilla 8/8 is kind of stupid when the board is at the 10-land level.  Hit you for 8.  Ok.  Uh, go.  Ok.  Wraths for 10 don’t work — you’re either dead at that point or you don’t need one.  1.5/5

Plague Wind — Similarly, Plague Wind looks pimpressive but always ends up sucking the hind teat.  If you have to wait until 9 mana to Wrath your opponents’ guys you’re probably going to lose.  I guess it can break a stalemate, but when do those happen?  1.5/5

Extinction — An extremely niche metagame pick.  1/5

Consume the Meek — Everything said about Culling Sun can be said about this card, cuz they’re, like, the same card.  If you forgot, or skipped what I said about Culling Sun, I said it sucked and don’t play it.  At least this is mono-color.  1.5/5

Forced March — I’ve never seen this card before, but I think I see why.  I guess for BBB to destroy all token creatures might have an application in some metagames, and the fact it has some scope beyond that doesn’t make it terrible, but I’d be surprised if there were many of these kicking around in decks.  2/5

Hellfire — Being from Legends means I automatically like this card, even if it’s questionably good.  Sometimes it will brick, but I can see this being a blowout on occasion.  Since black can go fetch it up, it could be ok?  I might have to experiment with this one.  2.5/5

Nature’s Ruin / Perish — When’s the last time you played a game of Commander where there were no green creatures?  One of these might be a funny “fuck you” inclusion and is in the most tutor-able color.  2/5

Reign of Terror — For more mana than Nature’s Ruin or Perish, you get a little extra reach, but you lose a lot of life.  This card is awful in a multiplayer context.  1/5

Reiver Demon — Pretty much a marginally cheaper Dread Cacodemon if you’re in mono-black and all the creatures you need to kill are !black.  Wait, I guess that means it’s as bad as or worse than the Cock Demon.  I think wraths for 8 mana had better be better than this, as a 6/6 flyer is pretty meh.  1.5/5

Virtue’s Ruin — Ruining virtue hasn’t been this much fun since … ok, this is a virgin joke.  You know where this is going.  Anyway, this card is way too much of a corner case.  1.5/5

Living Death — Not strictly a sweeper, but it does exile all creatures, so it gets around pesky indestructibility and regeneration.  This card is an all-star but not necessarily because it’s a sweeper.  (All of the above except the all-star part can be said for Living End and All Hallow’s Eve, too, it just must be said much sloooower.)  4.5/5

Blue

Evacuation
Ballin'.

EvacuationEvacuation is one of my favoritest cards because of it’s being an instant.  This can be an absolute backbreaker and shuts down crazy all-in hasted stupid turns.  It goes in every mono-U deck, no question, and should probably go in almost every U/x or even U/x/y deck too.  Love, love, love this card.  5/5

Inundate — If this were an instant, it might be very good.  It’s not, so it’s not.  3/5

Green

Whirlwind — This is as close to a creature sweeper as you’re going to get in green, and it’s still far, far away from a good card.  2/5

Red

Breaking Point — This card is never going to do what you want.  Leave it at home.  And before you start, yes, 6 to the dome of a random opponent for 3 mana is bad.  1/5

Mogg Infestation — This is usually targetted at yourself, so I’m not sure it qualifies.  But hey, it does destroy all the creatures one dude controls, for literally zero seconds.  Then he gets a bunch back.  1.5/5 (as removal)

Puppet's Verdict
Good thing you're having fun cuz you're LOSING

Puppet’s Verdict — This card is out of red’s color pie, so you know what that means.  WACKY CHAOS WACKINESS!  This card is strictly terrible, but it does that red thing that some people like, so, you know.  Also obviously awesome with Krark’s Thumb0/5

White

Wrath of God — Might as well start with the Original Gangsta of sweeping.  No regeneration is nice, four mana is nice.  Not hard to find and not expensive.  Tough to go wrong with this one.  Wrath doesn’t get Damnation’s 4.5 because of the proliferation of other great options in white.  4/5

Winds of Rath — The condition on this one doesn’t usually come up, but you can certainly use it to your advantage.  Uril, the Miststalker decks obviously love this card.  Five mana is fair.  3.5/5

Mass Calcify — Pretty expensive, but it’s a total hosing in mono-white.  3.5/5

Kirtar’s Wrath — A card that does the same thing as another card for two more mana is generally not a good card.  The threshold condition is pretty weak.  I’d give this one a miss.  2/5

Catastrophe — Wrath for six, or Armageddon for six.  The option is nice and worth the two extra mana.  4/5

March of Souls — If you have some brilliant plan for the tokens you’re giving everybody, go to town.  Otherwise leave this one at home.  1.5/5

Martial Coup — This is usually a pretty good 7+ mana spell.  3.5/5

Solar Tide — Woooow!  This card sucks!  You mean for 6 mana AND sacrificing two lands, I can play Wrath of God?!  AWESOME!  Just compare this to Austere Command to see how bad this is.  Power is not the right criteria to divide the effect on; CMC is.  1/5

Cleanse — Again, generally destroying everything of one color is too situational unless you get to pick the color.  Pass on this one.  1.5/5

Phyrexian Rebirth — It’s on the high side for a wrath at 6, but you do get a dude out of it.  In my mind, lies in the second tier of white wraths, which means it will see some but not a lot of play.  If you regularly play against token decks, swarm decks, or tribal decks, this might get bumped up to tier 1.  3/5

Day of Judgment  — If you absolutely need to have a Wrath effect for CMC 4, include this.  If not, there are much better options.  3/5

Myojin of Cleansing Fire — For just 8 mana, you get to keep a 4/6 around.  Whoop de do.  It can also be used as a stall effect.  Not a terrible card but I probably wouldn’t play it.  2.5/5

Righteous Fury — I sure do love life gain cards, especially ones that don’t quite do what you want most of the time.  Format staple.  Goes in every deck, even mono-black.  That’s how good it is.  1.5/5

Guan-Yu’s 1,000-Li March — Ugh, I can’t believe I had to type that out.  This card is bad, hard to find, and you’re going to sound like a real tool when you play it.  What a winner.  But check it out, it’s worse than Righteous Fury.  It probably has the dubious distinction of having the most punctuation in the title of any Magic card.  1/5

False Prophet — Not a bad card when combined with an instant-speed sacrifice outlet.  Exile > Destroy.  3/5

Final JudgmentFinal Judgment — This is either a low-end tier 1 sweeper or a high-end tier 2.  Either way, what I’m trying to say is, this card is good.  Say goodbye to recursion shenanigans, and it can’t be overstated how good that can be.  I also really like the art.  4/5

Planar Collapse — I played this in my Hanna, Ship’s Navigator enchantment deck because it was easy to recur and was a wrath attached to an enchantment.  It’s not strictly good, but it is an enchantment.  Not nobody can take that away from you, Planar Collapse.  Nobody.  2.5/5

Harsh Mercy — Huh, this is actually ok in tribal decks.  As long as you’re not currently losing to a tribal deck too, that is.  ‘Course, the dude with Blightsteel Colossus just goes “Golem” and runs you over anyway.  2.5/5

Hour of Reckoning — Great in token decks, frickin awful otherwise.  2/5

Hallowed Burial — Absolute bomb.  If you have Plains, you had better have this card.  Tucks generals, gets around indestructibility, and circumvents reanimation.  Top 10 white card period; maybe even top 5.  5/5

Terminus — Slightly more expensive than Hallowed Burial but gives you the miracle mechanic.  Sweepers generally want to sit in your hand until it’s optimal to use them, so I doubt it will get miracled much.  As such the extra mana is a slight downside.  I haven’t played with this enough to give it a 5, so it gets the next best thing.  4.5/5

Life’s Finale — It costs 6, which is on the high side of acceptable for a Wrath, but it give you some added bonus.  I’m not sure why you’d want to do this in Commander unless you’ve got a Debtors’ Knell out or something, but if you do, hey!  Now you’re cookin’.  3/5

Mageta the Lion — Slow, bad.  Avoid.  Maybe works as a Commander, but I’d be surprised.  1/5

Retribution of the Meek — Cheap at 3 CMC, but might be a swing-and-a-miss more often than you’d like.  Might work in a Rhys the Redeemed deck and the like.  2.5/5

RoutRout is, by far, one of my favorite creature sweepers.  Instant speed wrath is just soooo good.  Doing things at instant speed is literally infinity times better than using up your whole damn turn and not catching anyone by surprise.  Behind Hallowed Burial / Terminus, this is #3 on the “Best White Wraths” list.  4.5/5

Sunblast Angel — This card is probably not that bad, but I wouldn’t really count it as a sweeper.  It’s more of a value-added thing.  2.5/5

Sunscour — If this were an instant, MAN would it be good.  But it’s not, so it kind of sucks.  It does get you out of situations that most other cards on this list don’t get you out of — like a post-Obliterate fatty-coming-out-of-suspend-fuck-you-Jhoira situation, but if you’re in that situation, you should just punch the Jhoira player in the kidney and shuffle up for a new game.  What I’m trying to say is, is that you probably shouldn’t play this card.  2/5

Enchantments

Green

Multani’s Decree — Destroys all enchantments with some value added.  Generally it’s not that pressing to destroy ALL enchantments unless every deck in your metagame is Solitary Confinement.dec or an Uril, the Miststalker deck.  That goes for the rest of these, too, which more or less do the same thing without the life gain.  Their ratings will reflect this accordingly.  3/5

Back to Nature — Aggressively costed.  I guess.  Can you call generally bad situational effects aggressively costed?  Probably not.  2.5/5

Reverent Silence
Wow, a Nemesis card that sucks? That's weird.

Reverent Silence — When I started this article, I didn’t expect there’d be so many cards that say “destroy all enchantments”.  I certainly didn’t expect one to be a Reward the Faithful as well.  Somebody build the deck that plays this and then goes BAM!  FALSE CURE, BITCH!  1.5/5

Calming Verse — Probably the best version of this in green, since it spares your stuff.  (Thanks, M10 rules changes!)  3/5

Essence Filter — Throw this right on in to your G/W enchantments deck already, would ya?  2.5/5

Hush — Probably the best or 2nd best enchantment hoser in green since you can cycle it away when not needed.  3/5

Primeval Light — Usually it’s only one player with obnoxious enchantments doing obnoxious things.  (I’m looking at you, Uril, the Miststalker.  And you too, Zur the Enchanter.)  When it’s not, though, you’ll sure wish this card was Hush.  (Or just play a real card, like Oblivion Stone.)  2.5/5

Root Greevil — Not good enough to even be on the list, except for the flavor text.  0/5

Serene Heart — Yeah.  If Auras are your problem but you want to keep your non-Aura enchantments around, play this.  Or, you know, play a good card instead.  Up to you.  2/5

Tranquil Domain — Combo this with Serene Heart to destroy ALL enchantments!  Oh wait, there are cards that do that already in one card instead of two.  “Good” in an enchantment-based Voltron build, but shouldn’t be in your deck otherwise.  2.5/5

Tranquil Grove
I’ll show you a Tranquil Grove alright. Hint: it’s in my pants.

Tranquil Grove — Re-usable effect, but costs 2GGG to get it the first time.  2.5/5

Tranquil Path — 5 is quite a bit more than I want to pay for this, even if it cantrips.  There are better options.  2/5

Tranquility — Get what they’re doing with this “tranquil” root word?  Places without enchantments are tranquil.  But NOT Sterling.  That’s different.  Anyway, this is the O-G.  No bonus effects and Back to Nature does this for two.  1.5/5

White

Cleanfall — White Tranquility.  Yay.  1.5/5

Cleansing Meditation — Not as good as Calming Verse, but close.  It does combo with enchantments that do things when they ETB.  3/5

Nova Cleric — Unless you’re playing some weird Cleric tribal thing, I’d leave this guy at home.  1.5/5

Paraselene — Enchantment sweeper with a little gravy.  Well costed at 3.  Shows you how bad Tranquility is.  2.5/5

Patrician’s Scorn — The free cost will probably rarely matter.  There’s still no reason not to play Cleansing Meditation if you want this effect in white.  2.5/5

Remove Enchantments
What?!?

Remove Enchantments — I know this card does something, but I’m not going to try to figure it out.  I guess it hoses Uril or Zur, but all that other text is bewildering.  ?/5

Tempest of Light — It’s an instant, it costs 3.  Not bad for this effect.  Still not as good as Cleansing Meditation3/5

Artifacts

Multicolor

Corrosion — Probably not good, but it does only hit your opponents’ stuff.  I guess you could use it as mana rock hate and let it die after 3 or so counters, but that seems slow and like a lot of investment for something pretty mediocre.  Nevermind, it’s awful.  Don’t play this card.  1.5/5

Green

Creeping Corrosion — It does what it says for four mana.  This is not bad in mono-green since mono-green tends to play a lot of non-artifact acceleration.  If your deck plays tons of mana rocks (or other artifacts, of course), I’d opt for one of the multi-type permanent sweepers like Deed or O-Stone instead.  2.5/5

Seeds of Innocence — I wish I was still innocent to the fact this card exists.  Stupid.  But hey, goes right into the False Cure deck we talked about earlier.  SNAP!  1/5

Red

Hammer Mage — a little slow, a little costly, and a very fragile.  Probably not good despite the variable scope.  1.5/5

Pulverize — I can’t imagine too many times you’d want to set yourself back two lands to do this for free, but hey, if you do, this is the card for you.  2/5

Shatterstorm — The O-G for this effect.  Does what it says.  3/5

Furnace Dragon — Yeah.  It’s an answer to Darksteel Forge, I guess.  And for just 9!  1.5/5

Blue

Rebuild — Not terrible, since you can cycle it and it’s an instant.  Usually it’s the blue mage playing all the artifacts, though.  2/5

Lands

Multicolor

Desolation Angel — This used to be one of my favorite cards back in the day.  It’s probably an ok finisher in B/W (for some reason, there are no Orzhov decks in my meta so I can’t comment).  CMC 7 is a lot, but you get a flyer and an Armageddon out of it.  If you’re ahead, this should seal the deal.  3.5/5

Blue

Sunder
Yuck.

Acid Rain — Die, forests!  Once again, if any color is worth hosing main deck, it might be green.  Blue has a few ways to search this bad boy up, too.  It’s also funny for just how far out of the color pie it is.  3/5

Sunder — This card is pretty hideous.  I’m glad there is only one copy in our metagame.  Instant, too.  Like, come on.  4.5/5

White

Armageddon / Ravages of War — One costs $5, the other costs like infinity billion dollars.  Both great cards that say, “if you’re ahead right now, you’ll probably win the game.  Oh, and destroy all lands.”  4.5/5

Catastrophe — As said above, the two extra mana for either effect is worth the ability to choose.  It’s good if you’re ahead, it’s good if you’re behind.  That makes for a good card.  4/5

Red

Boil / Boiling Seas — Good blue hate if that’s your thing.  If you’re going to run one, pick the instant, would ya?  2.5/5

Boom // Bust — Not a bad card because both sides can be relevant.  Dumping a mountain to get rid of an online Emeria, the Sky Ruin is probably good for a red deck to do.  3.5/5

Flashfires — Who cares about Plains?  But if, for some reason, you keep losing to a mono white deck, you have two options.  (1) Play this card.  (2) Quit Magic.  2/5

Impending Disaster — Pretty hilarious in multiplayer.  Not good, but hilarious.  2/5

Myojin of Infinite RageMyojin of Infinite Rage — Armageddon for 10, eh?  Hmm.  Think I’ll pass.  Might be ok as a Commander.  Indestructible 7/4 is not horrible, but not for 10 mana.  2/5

Ruination — This card gets better the more developed your metagame is.  What that means is, it gets better the more your opponents have spent money on their decks.  This is generally a pretty good card, but it’s bonkers in mono-R.  3.5/5

Wake of Destruction — Never totally dead.  Good wish board card for your Burning Wish.  But people who do that not only have a Burning Wish, but a Burning Rash.  From being a SLUT.  But in all seriousness, this doesn’t really do what you want out of an armageddon-style effect.  You want it to kick your opponents while they’re down and let you win the game.  This just hoses one, maybe two tops, of your opponents.  2/5

Black

Stench of Evil — With a name like this, how don’t you play this card?  If only white were more of a problem color.  2/5

Green

Tsunami — Well, you know, it’s good against blue decks, and blue decks are good.  2.5/5

Conclusion

I hope our time together has showed you some new cards and maybe taught you a bit how to evaluate card selection for multiplayer.  If not, well, I tried.

Rating Scale

5/5 — This card goes in every deck that has that color.  Ex. Hallowed Burial.
4.5/5 — This is a fantastic card that has something just a little wrong with it, like burdensome color costs, high price tag, high CMC, etc.  Generally these go in every deck of their color.  Ex. Damnation.
4/5 — This is a solid card that’s either good but not great all the time, or excellent some of the time and just ok the rest.  Ex. Wrath of God.
3.5/5 — This is a good card that’s either an above average 40th-50th card or slightly too situational to be a 4/5.  Ex. Ruination.
3/5 — This is a middling effect that works in some decks but isn’t an auto-include, or the cream of the crop for very situational effects.  Ex. Cleansing Meditation.
2.5/5 — These cards tend to be metagame choices, are situational, or are just very average.  Ex. Tsunami.
2/5 — This card is bad, but might work in some corner case decks.  Ex. Hour of Reckoning.
1.5/5 — There is possibly a use somewhere, but very likely not.  Ex. Hammer Mage.
1/5 — This card flat-out sucks.  Ex. Seeds of Innocence.
0/5 — This card is so hilariously bad it’s amazing somebody ever took the time to put pen to paper to make it.  Ex. Suleiman’s Legacy.
-2/5 — This card says “Apocalypse Chime” on it.

2 comments

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